Song in my Heart
by love.lifemusic
Summary: Bella and Edward have been best friends for years. Can a confession result in finding true love in true friendship? AH
1. Bella's Song

**I so obviously do not own the twilight franchise. I just like to play with the characters. **

Enjoy!

"…A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. And where you find true friendship, you find true love."

I took a deep breath, and steeled my resolve to lay my whole world on the line, in the midst of the people who all hold precious pieces of my heart. I looked up, across the long cherry wood dining room table; my coffee colored eyes meet ones that rival the color of the deep green of darkened grass. His eyes, illuminated by the soft flicker of candle light flickered in the deep red wine settled in an intricate wine glass, grasped softly by his long graceful fingers, raged with several emotions, never settling on one emotion long enough for identification.

"Edward, you are the one who knows the song in my heart. You are the one who sings it back when I have so frequently forgotten the words. And in you, I have found true friendship, in you I have found true love. Happy birthday, may your next 25 years be as special as your last 25 years."

Holding Edward's eye contact, I raised my glass as the other attendees did the same. An eerie silence took over the room as eyes flickered between me and Edward as if they were watching the most fascinating tennis match. Over the last 20 years I had known Edward, I had harbored this secret. Granted I did not consciously realize I was in love with Edward until a few years ago, but when the realization had come, I knew there wasn't a time I hadn't loved my best friend. I had been so good at constructing an image of a faithful best friend, no one had any idea these feelings frenzied within. No one knew. My parents, close friends, even Alice, my other best friend and Edward's older sister, did not know of my feelings.

So why now? Why did I decide to spill the largest and most shocking secret of my short 25 years in front of all these people, near and dear to my heart, on Edward's birthday? It is really a quite simple explanation. Edward was fading away, and I had to hold on to him at all costs. This was all costs.

If we were in a movie, I may have heard crickets chirping. But seeing as we live in cruel reality, the eerie silence continued, the eye flickers continued but were now accompanied by gaping mouths. Emse, Edward and Alice's mother, recovered first, electing to remain silent, but a trademark Cullen crooked smirk played at the corners of her mouth, eyes twinkling. It felt like a lifetime since I had heard anyone breathing in the room. Suddenly feeling suffocated, I picked up the small gift bag at my feet. Quickly shuffling over to the other end of the long table, I plunked the gift next to Edward and without speaking or looking from my feet, I nearly jogged from the room. I had to get out. My converse squeaked loudly against the charcoal marble foyer floor. Swinging the heavy oak door open, the cold hit my face like tiny knives. My eyes stung with tears, both from the severe temperature change and the realization of what I had just done. I didn't prevent him from fading away, I sped up the process. The contents of my stomach churned as I rushed toward my car. As I turned the key and slammed the gas to the floor, I imagined the scene I had fled from, crickets still chirping.

* * *

After the fifth day of calling in to work, a trendy coffee shop Alice and I co-owned with the moniker IceaBella, derived from both our names, Alice had had enough. For the past five days, I had been drowning in sorrow. I ate all three pints of Ben and Jerry's in my freezer, 2 boxes of Samoa Girl Scout Cookies, a bag of Dove's white chocolate bars, drank all five bottles of top shelf wine I brought back from our vacation in Napa Valley last summer, and even dipped into tequila and margarita mix reserved for group game night, every Friday. I hadn't changed from my hot pink polka dotted pajamas, white fuzzy socks, and white fleece track jacket, which were generally reserved as the "I'm sick, leave me alone" outfit. My house remained spotless, since I had barely moved from the couch in five days. I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. I did shower, 'cause let's face it, after crying hysterically and throwing up from the amount of alcohol consumption on a stomach full of ice cream, chocolate, and cookies, it is completely necessary. Really, I am lucky to be alive, five days into this lifestyle.

I was currently passed out on my couch, from another round of margaritas and cookies at nine in the morning. I was rudely awakened by a loud pounding noise on my door. Startled and still drunk, I ended up rolling myself off the couch and landed on the floor with a loud thud.

"uuugggh!" I moaned as I rolled on my back to stare at the ceiling. I did not care who was at the door, I was not getting up.

The pounding did not stop. In fact, I could hear the cadence of my tiny best friend's voice over the incessant knocking.

"Open up this damn door Bella! I will break this fucker down!"

My eyes immediately popped open, aching. Alice was not one for profanity. None of us were, unless we were furious and meant business. The scariest part of it all was, my four-foot-eleven friend could break the door down. I decided I wasn't too afraid and remained on the floor.

"IS-AAA-BE-LLLL-AAAAA!" I heard her scream at the top of her lungs

I stayed rooted to the floor, gazing at the texture of my ceiling, and wondered when she would give up. Then silence. My brain wanted me to smile, but the motion was so foreign it caused actual physical pain. I contemplated getting off the floor, because I was uncomfortable, but couldn't bring myself to do it.

As I fought with myself internally, I faintly heard a sound, breaking my reverie. Keys jingled outside my door. I heard the lock on my door click.

"huh, I wonder what that's about" I wondered aloud.

"Oh god!" I heard a gasp.

Lovely. The Pixie Monster found a way in. I wondered who she cajoled into giving up the key to my house. Then I remembered the hide-a-key, which isn't so hidden on my front porch. I made a mental note to hide the key better when I felt like getting up.

I heard the clank of designer stilettos against my wood floors. Closer, closer, closer. I knew I needed to move quickly, I needed to escape. But I couldn't. Then she was upon me, staring down at me. Alice's face wore a devastating expression. I couldn't take it and began to blubber again. My eyes burn from the excessive amounts of salty tears leaking as I choke on sobs, hyperventilating from lack of air.

Alice dropped to the floor, dress and stilettos forgotten and laid next to me, enveloping me in a bear hug. In between sobs, I heard her talking on the phone.

" Em, I need you and Ro here, like yesterday!" I couldn't hear the booming voice on the other end clearly, so I settled for listening to her one side conversation.

"It is bad, really bad. Oh god, I can't believe I left her for this long. I am the worst best friend." Alice whispered into the phone.

"It's killing them. We have got to do something. He is our baby brother! She is our best friend!" Alice choked.

With that she hung up still squeezing me with all her might. She cried "I'm so sorry" over and over again, rocking us back and forth. My eyes drooped closed as I fell asleep again.

I was awakened some time later, this time by someone scooping me up in their arms and carrying me through the hall. I opened my eyes as much as I could manage, to see I was nestled in the arms of Emmett, Alice and Edward's older brother. Behind him, I heard the voices of Rosalie, Emmett's wife, Alice, and Jasper, Alice's husband. I was nearly unconscious as I heard Alice bark out the directions to my bathroom.

"Chill, Al. I know where it is. I have been here plenty of times!" Emmett gritted through his teeth.

"Sorry, I…I…gosh…THIS IS SO…" I had never heard Alice so flustered before. She was generally so poised, well spoken, talented in articulating her feelings.

"I know, Al. "Emmett soothed.

"I can't believe we have to do this a second time today!" mused Rosalie "I mean the two people who are everyone's confidants, so calm and collected about everything, are in shambles."

"Well, even brick walls fall down, Rosalie" drawled Jasper.

I heard the shower running briefly as I was emerged in the warm water, still in the arms of Emmett, still fully clothed. I gasped and choked on the assaulting water, oddly soothing my aching face. As the water ran cold, Emmett stepped out of the shower and set me down on the cool toilet.

"Alright girls, your turn. We are going over to check on patient number two."

Still in a haze, I mumbled "who is patient number two?"

Alice and Rose exchanged a glance and muttered "one half of a whole heart".

I was so confused and exhausted, possibly still a lot drunk, I just nodded slowly. I had not the slightest clue what they were talking about. I sputtered as two Tylenol were shoved in my mouth along with some ice cold water. Rose worked to rid me of my water logged clothing as Alice dried me off and replaced the soaked clothing with dry ones. Rosalie began to brush my hair while Alice worked on brushing my teeth and washing my face. I felt more than a little ridiculous that my friends were taking care of me as I was completely inept. But, I knew them all too well to argue when they were on a mission, such as the one they were currently on. I was unaware of their mission, and what the objective really was.

I had finally sobered up enough by the end of their poking and prodding, I was finally capable of following and sharing intelligent thought. When they were finished they both looked at me, fire in Alice's green and Rose's blue eyes, hands on their hips and a stance of power.

"Time for a change." Alice chirped. Following Alice's lead, Rose whispered "enough is enough."

* * *

The visit from the bunch of hooligans I call me friends, was two weeks ago. While I was now a functioning version of myself, my heart ached on a continual basis. I still had yet to speak with Edward since his birthday, three weeks ago. We had never gone this long without seeing each other, since we had met. Even when he spent his year of residency in Chicago, while Alice and I came home to Seattle open IceaBella, I flew back to Chicago every other weekend to see him. He flew home once a month to see his family. We would spend one week apart, talking whenever his schedule allowed over texts and Skype.

It was during that year, I learned I was in love with him.

(Flashback)

It was just after eight, and I was in a dead sleep. I was scheduled to meet the contractors remodeling IceaBella at 5 AM to go over floor plans, countertops, and cabinetry with Alice. My phone chirped with a new emergency text. Startled, I grabbed frantically for me phone and flipped it open. Edward's profile picture popped up in the text feed. Next to it was three words, which irrevocably changed my life. Although, at the time of the text, I had no idea it would change the fabric of my life. Next to his picture, the text read, 911. Skype Now.

Stumbling out of my bed, tripping over blankets and other various things littering my floor, I scrambled to the office to grab my laptop. If a full sprint, I practically fell on my bed, flipping up the lid to my laptop, quickly turning it on and logging into Skype. I didn't even have time to search for Edward before I had an incoming video call. I answered it immediately, and the view on my screen broke my heart.

"Bella, I…I…I nnnneed you" Edward choked out between sobs. In the years that I had known Edward, I had never witnessed him cry. This incredibly strong being was thousands of miles away, totally and completely alone. Tears flooded his face, and I couldn't understand a word he was saying. He was near hyperventilation. I calmed him the best I could, and he fell asleep from exhaustion, his eyes shut tight, swollen and red from tears, with the Skype conversation still running.

Before I knew it, I was calling Alice to have her meet the contractors alone, and hopping on a red eye out of SeaTac to O'Hare International Airport. Three hours and forty five minutes later I was dashing through O'Hare International to baggage claim.

By four in the morning, I was standing on Edward's porch in the onslaught of a Chicago blizzard, in jeans, a NorthFace fleece, and Ugg Boots. I knocked on his door continually, waiting to hear some kid of movement inside. I heard his soft footsteps approach the door. The door slowly opened and I saw his shock of bronze hair peek around the door followed by his tired eyes. When he realized who was at his doorstep a gorgeous crooked smile broke out on his face. Edward ran out on the porch in his boxers and tee, scooped me up, and rushed inside.

Edward twirled me around in his living room, laughing. He made my head spin and my heart beat rapidly. I lifted my head to see him smiling, laughing, and crying at the same time. The sight made my warmed and broke my heart all at once. I had flown thousands of miles and stood out in a snow storm, just to take away his pain. I gasped as I realized that is what love is, and I was in love with Edward.

"I can't believe you are here, boo!" Edward breathed as he crushed me to his chest.

"What did you expect, boo?" parroting our childhood nickname for each other. "You called all upset. I had to come save you." I smiled weakly.

"Only you would fly thousands of hours in the middle of the night, just for me. Only you" Edward chuckled, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to worry you. I just missed you, and I had a tough day at the hospital. I needed my favorite girl." Edward walked us into his room and snuggled into the bed. Facing each other, cuddling, I watched his face as a smile settled across his features and his eyes flickered closed. He clung to me like a lifeline through the night.

My heart fluttered until I reminded myself this is what he always does when he is down and out. Nothing has changed in the last eighteen years. It didn't mean what I so desperately wanted it to mean. It was then I realized he was the other half to my heart, a completely unattainable half. So began the two year repression of my feelings, which seemed to grow stronger and stronger over the years.

* * *

Friday night. Alice was out with Jasper, so I was working closing shift at the coffee shop, happily cleaning counters as I listened to the heavy rhythm of the rain outdoors. It never bothered me to close, especially on Fridays. Before, I would close up and head over to my house, where game night would be in full swing. I appreciated closing these days, because game night, like life in general, was not the same without Edward. This was the first time since our game nights came to being, that we were not having one. It was symbolic. I figured my actions at Edward's party could have disastrous consequences. But I really had no idea the severity. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Maybe I should contact Edward. Maybe I should move to Australia. Maybe…

A light rapping on the coffee shop glass doors interrupted my musings. I looked up, wondering who would need in the shop this late at night. My eyes snapped up to meet a figure that resembled a drowned rat. I slowly made my way toward the door, my heart beating in my chest. I wasn't sure what to expect.

I opened the door as he came rushing in, dripping with rain water. I stood frozen, not knowing what to do or what to say. I hadn't seen him in almost a month. I felt tears spring to my eyes. The only noises between us were the sounds of his heavy breathing and my short gasps to stave off the tears.

"Why did you do it?" Edward growled

"I DON'T know Edward! If I could take it back I would! God, I never meant for things to get this way. I just needed you to know. It was killing me to sit and watch while other women had what I so desperately lived for! It was killing me to see you miserable. It kills me when you talk about the "special girl" you have been after for so long. It was killing me to see you pull away from me. I didn't know what to do! What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?" I shrieked

"Why did you run? I have been waiting…so long!" Edward shouted "I have been waiting so long for something to happen between us. And it does, and you run! You started it and you left! You gave me this beautiful scrapbook of our lives and then I haven't heard from you for almost a month. What was I supposed to think…?"

My eyes could no longer hold the tears back as my only mistake hung in the air. I didn't think by leaving in such haste, Edward would delude himself into thinking I wanted to take back the words I had said.

Edward had tears streaming down his cheeks as he continued in a whisper "I have told you so many times, you were my special girl! It kills me when you talk about the "special man" you have been after for so long. It kills me to see other men have what I have been after for 20 years. I have loved you since our first play date when we were five. I loved you through our awkward teen years and your heartbreaks. I have loved you in spite of the wear and tear our relationship has caused on my heart. It killed me to be in Chicago for a year, only surviving because we flew to see each other on a weekly basis. And when you showed up two years ago, after a day in hell, in a blizzard…I knew you were the other half of my heart."

He took two long strides toward me, grabbed my hands and knelt to the ground. Sniffling he reached in his pocket and pulled out a light blue box, flipping it open. Nestled inside was a beautiful sparkling cushion cut solitaire diamond ring. "Bella, when you stood up and toasted at my birthday party, you said a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. And where you find true friendship, you find true love. You are the one who knows the song to my heart, and has sung it back many times when I have forgotten the words. And in you I have found true friendship, in you I found true love. I love you with all I am and all I can be. Now that I have you, I will never let you go. Will you marry me?"

Without a second thought, I collapsed to my knees throwing my arms around Edward, and snuggled my face in the crook of his neck "Oh Boo, I'll love you forever and for always. Yes!"

Edward slightly turned his head, still silently crying. He grabbed my hand and slid the ring on my left third finger. Kissing the ring, he gazed into my eyes. Slowly leaning forward, he moved his large hands to cradle my face as he tilted his head, brushing his soft pink lips to mine.

**EPOV? Tell me what do you think? **


	2. Edward's Song

**Nothing has changed…I so obviously do not own the twilight franchise. I just like to play with the characters. Especially when I get to create a sweet, sensitive Edward! **

EPOV

I sat back in my chair, half listening to my closest family and friends recount humorous life events from the last 25 years. My distraction was seated across the table from me, in the form of my best friend. Best friend? What a torturous notion. I lived for this girl; I breathed for her, my heart beat for this girl and had for the last 20 years. The pain of unrequited love throbbed in my chest at the thought of the unattainable perfection seated down the table. She was made for me. I knew it, my family knew it, and our friends knew it. She was the only one who didn't see it. Our late night snuggles/ sleepovers or "snuggleovers" as she named them upon conception during our college days, constant contact...I couldn't be any more obvious if I tried.

So I did what any self respecting, idiotic male, too afraid to man up and fess his feelings in a straightforward romantic confession... I pulled away. I stopped texting her 5,201 times a day. I quit inviting her over for our snuggleovers. No more dinners, movies, or talking on the phone until we fell asleep. I couldn't sleep, I had no appetite, and I barely smiled. I was breaking my own heart, and it was killing me. But I couldn't keep up this best friend façade anymore. I couldn't watch her go on dates as I sat and watched from the sidelines. If I couldn't have her heart, I had to move on.

Tears threatened my eyes as I was jolted out of my agonized reminiscing by a sharp clink on a wine glass and a heavy dining room chair scrape across the hardwood floor. My eyes focused on Bella, who had stood from her chair for a toast. I hadn't realized I had been gazing in Bella's direction until I caught smirks gracing Alice and Jasper's face in my peripheral vision. I felt my face scowl at their good natured silent ribbing, but quickly rearranged my features as I listened to Bella's toast.

The cadence of her voice tinkled as she recited her speech from memory. Her face was painted with courage and determination, her mocha brown eyes focused on mine. I couldn't bring myself to break the contact, electricity cackling in the air. I was lost in her gaze, until her words broke through to my heart.

"…_A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. And where you find true friendship, you find true love."_

I gripped my glass tighter as her words rang through the air. My heart took off on a high speed race as I struggled to comprehend her words. The implication of her words could make or break my soul. Did she mean as a friend? Or did she literally mean true love? Hope, love, excitement, disbelief, anxiety, and several other unidentifiable feelings flitted through my being. I was overwhelmed with emotions as her voice once again broke through.

"_Edward, you are the one who knows the song in my heart. You are the one who sings it back when I have so frequently forgotten the words. And in you, I have found true friendship, in you I have found true love. Happy birthday, may your next 25 years be as special as your last 25 years."_

My chest tightened cutting off my air supply. Elation filled my bones as a face-splitting smile graced my lips. After all these years, she felt the same. She was as much my world as I was hers. I felt disgusted with myself; my actions were deplorable both in pulling away from her recently and forcing her to confess her feelings to me. I should have been man enough to make a grand gesture of love and here this amazingly gorgeous woman, inside and out, had to be the one to do it. Deep into my self-loathing, I heard the door slam shut and tires squealing against the pavement. My eyes snapped up to meet the shocked faces of my family and close friends staring at me. I frantically searched for Bella, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. My breath came out in gasps as my palms collided with the dining room table in attempt to hold myself up. I felt a chair hit the back of my legs as I collapsed into it, staring straight up into my older brother, Emmett's concerned eyes. I heard conversation buzzing frantically around me as I worked to steady my breathing. 20 years I had been waiting for this. For something to finally set us on the track we were born to be on, together. And it was ripped from underneath me. She gave me hope and ripped it away in the same breath. She said the words I have been longing to hear for 20 years, and took them back. I tightly shut my eyes as I allowed the grief to consume me, my body trembling as tears trailed down my face. In the distance, I heard the faint sound of my heart shattering as my wine glass collided with the floor.

Working at a hospital where your father as Chief of Medicine has its perks, I guess. I had called in sick to work and then had ignored the invasion of phone calls plaguing my phone. After storming into my house, uninvited I may add, and witnessing my condition, he immediately called in a five day emergency vacation. I was thankful for this, because honestly, I couldn't bring myself to care enough to get out of bed let alone save lives.

I didn't eat, I didn't drink, I couldn't watch tv or listen to music. I remained in my bed and stared at the ceiling, occasionally turning over to stare out the window. I studiously avoided the left side of my room, peppered with photos of Bella and me at various stages in our lives. The scrapbook Bella had given me for my birthday lay dormant on the floor next to my bed.

The scrapbook was amazing. It was the story of our lives lived out in pictures. Every play date, hug, innocent kiss, dance, graduation, vacation, and our entire lives played out in inside jokes were captured in pictures and in text artistically orchestrated page after page. In the front cover, the words she had said to me just five days ago were scrawled in her flowing print_"…A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. And where you find true friendship, you find true love." _ When I had read her words, I rushed to the bathroom collapsing on the floor in dry heaves. I had lost her forever, and it was my fault.

Tears leaked out of my eyes, salt burning the raw surface. I briefly wondered if I would ever be whole again. I couldn't see myself surviving this. I had already lost who knows how much from not eating, severely dehydrated from not drinking anything. I knew what I was doing to myself. I just didn't care. My heart was gone, the rest of me could just waste away.

I heard a loud banging on the door, but I didn't even move. I didn't need anyone to see me this way. To tell me I was making a mistake. To attempt to console me by telling me it will be alright one day. The banging finally ceased and all was quiet, until I heard the quiet click of my lock.

"What the hell…" as I mentally flipped through all the recipients of my key. I didn't give anyone a key accept Bella. Bella. Bella!

My heart constricted at the thought of her coming to see me. Then I remembered the matching hide-a-keys Bella and I bought as a joke and placed on our porches. Sinking farther in my bed, I tried to burry myself under the covers, thinking maybe it would confuse my visitor. Needless to say, thinking and strategizing was not a strong point of mine at the moment.

Heavy footsteps followed by the clinking of heels echoed through my house. I heard doors opening and shutting as the pursuit continued. I owned a large home, so it could take them awhile to get through the maze. Like in a horror movie, the footsteps grew louder and louder as impending doom came upon me. I could almost hear the ominous music thumping in the background. My bedroom door flung open as the perpetrators materialized.

"Jesus" muttered my older, usually boisterous brother as a sharp gasp was emitted from, what I assumed was his wife, Rosalie.

I was completely surrounded in a blanket of chocolate brown and mocha, cocooned in my sheets and comforter. Not bothering to peek out to see if my suspicions were correct. The footsteps began their descent to my bed, the blankets furiously ripped off my body. I was left shivering from the polar temperatures of my room, curled into the fetal position to keep in my body heat, my sweatshirt and sweats swam around my figure.

"For fucks sake, Rose! Look at him! Wha..fuh." Emmett's voice strained with emotion.

I looked up at Rose, towered over my bed looking down with one hand clasped over her mouth, tears leaking from her ice blue eyes. In all the time I have known Rosalie, she was the rational, unemotional half of my brother. The droplets of water raining down her cheeks seemed severely out of place. I didn't have enough energy to speak, so I dropped my eyes to the sheet shaking as Rose raked her fingers through my matted hair.

"What the hell is going on? It's not fair, Em. They don't deserve this; this isn't the way things are supposed to be! Help us all, if these two can't get it together. In the entire world, if two hearts fit together, it's these two."

"I know, I know. What do I do Rose? What can I do? He is my baby brother, I need to protect him..I can't…I" Em choked. "Edward is usually the one who has it all together, the one everyone can go to in need. He needs us, and I can't do a damn thing, Rose!"

All was quiet accept for the soft sniffles coming from Emmett and Rose. I wanted to assure them I would be fine, but I couldn't find the words. It tore me apart to know how much I have hurt people closest to me due to my grief. My lips pried open but no sound came out, my throat parched and raspy.

"Okay, Rose, Go down to the kitchen. Cook anything you can find, check expiration dates. Who knows the last time he has been shopping. I am going to get him in the shower. I'll be done in a half hour. Have something hot and waiting for him."

I heard Rosalie's heels click against the wood floors as Emmett heaved me easily into his arms and stalked into the adjoining bathroom. I couldn't find it in me to struggle as Emmett peeled off my dirty clothes, leaving on my underwear.

"Damn it E. These clothes will need to be burned. When's the last time you showered?"

I raised my head, blinking at Emmett. Unable to vocalize, I held up a hand. Emmett muttered a string of expletives as he picked me up and placed me under the steady stream of hot water. My body sagged against the cool tiles, as I let the water run over my body. Emmett quickly washed my hair and turned off the water. He wretched me out of the shower and sat me down on the toilet, wrapping my bathrobe around me, tying a knot around my waist. Roughly jerking my head up, he quickly brushed my teeth.

Exiting the bathroom, Emmett boomed "Okay, I'm getting out of the bathroom. You take your own damn underwear off. I'll find a clean pair."

I managed to shimmy out of my sopping boxers as Emmett threw a new pair, hitting me in the face. I attempted to smile, but the foreign facial gesture caused physical pain.

After I was clothed in clean boxers and a robe, I was thrown over Em's shoulder and transported to the kitchen.

"You have two choices Edward. You can eat and drink on your own, or I get Dr. C Cullen over here and he can admit you to the hospital to be fed by IV. I don't expect you to eat it all, but you need something." Rose's eyes blazed with fire and ice.

I looked to my brother for help, but he shook his head, making it clear he sided with his wife. The food smelled wonderful, but my empty stomach churned at the thought of food entering after a five day self induced fast. I picked up the water and took a few small sips letting it settle in my stomach. After a few bites of chicken noodle soup and a glass of water, my stomach turned violently, sending me retching to the kitchen sink.

A shrill ring echoed through the house, Emmett went outside to take the call. Moments later, he crashed back through the door, his eyes alight with panic. He grabbed Rose and hurried out the door only pausing to bark out orders.

"I'll be back in a few. The soup better be in your stomach and you better be somewhere other than your bed, Edward!"

Sometime later, although I couldn't tell you how long, since time doesn't hold too much meaning, Emmett returned with Jasper. I was still perched at the bar, working on soup and crackers, drinking some orange juice.

"And I thought I saw ground zero at B's house." Jasper drawled

To say I was confused was an understatement, but then again I couldn't say my brain was functioning at an optimal level.

"The sad thing, Jazz? He actually looks and smells a lot better." Emmett boomed with a wry smile.

I barked a laugh, which really sounded closer to a bark than a laugh. My throat had been soothed with the copious amounts of water and juice flowing through, and I was capable of making sounds other than rasping.

"Where did you go, Em?" I cringed at the rough tenor of my voice.

"Rescue Mission 2."

"Two? What?"

"It seems you aren't the only one on the bottom with a shattered heart."

"Time for change" smiled Jasper.

I looked between my older brother and brother –in-law. Twin smirks playing on the corners of their lips. I couldn't help but think… What the hell is going on?

Two long weeks passed since Emmett and Rose waged war against my excessive self-loathing. I was back to the daily grind. Functioning, barely. Like a robot, I went through the motions. Eating, breathing, thinking…not feeling much other than numbness and a dull constant ache. It had been three weeks since I had any contact with Bella. In 20 years, I had never gone two days without contact with Bella, let alone three weeks. Even in my year in Chicago, during Advanced Med, I was in constant contact with her. I would fly into Seattle every other weekend to see my "family" but to be honest, it was because of Bella. I couldn't bear any longer of a time period. If I wasn't in Seattle, she was in Chicago. I didn't sleep at all that year. I was up studying night after night, so my weekends were free to do as I please. In the end, it was all worth it.

One night in particular stood out in my memory. If there was ever a time I should have fessed up to my feelings, it was two winters ago. That winter was the first and only time I had hope that our friendship was more than friendship, that there was something more.

(Flashback)

A blizzard was coming in; I could feel the bitter cold as I hiked up hill to my car after a hellacious day in the ER/OR. A blizzard meant one thing, more 36+ hour shifts due to the influx of accident and hypothermia victims do to the snow, ice, and biting cold. It seemed today had been a precursor for what was to come. A five car pileup near O'Hare had left 4 teenagers in critical care literally fighting for life, had 1 elderly man deep in a coma without much hope, and taken the lives of two family units and one tiny brunette about my age. I had been assigned to the young brunette woman, who despite her mangled appearance, looked startlingly like Bella. When I had rushed into the OR while being briefed on her condition, I was in full blown surgeon mode. I made my way over to the table, suiting up quickly, barker orders and listening to the stats being called from the OR nurse. I took my place at the operating table and looked down to assess her condition and formulate a plan of attack with the chief surgeon. A lump gathered in my throat as I took in the resemblance of this woman to my best friend. I knew it wasn't her, but it was as if she was lying broken on my operating table. Swallowing thickly, urging my irrational tears at stay at bay I listened to the prognosis, injuries, vitals, and plan of operation. Three hours into the invasive procedure of reconstructing vital organs and constant blood transfusions, time of death was called.

It was easily the most traumatic day of my young life. It was like I was watching helplessly as my girl lay broken on my operating table. I sent of a 911 text to Bella. I had to make sure for myself she was okay. I wretched open my laptop and clicked on Bella's name. Her tired face popped up on the screen and my straining emotions broke loose, materializing in sobs wracking my body and shaking my core.

"Bella, I…I…I nnnneed you!" I choked out between breaths.

My breaths came out in short gasping spurts as I struggled to steady my breathing, recounting my day in the OR. I felt so weak in that moment, losing my cool over something so ingrained into my career choice, but I couldn't help it. Bella's soothing words floated over the speakers, her concerned face breaking me further. Exhausted, my eyes floated shut, lulled to sleep by the soft comfort of Bella's voice.

Hours later soft knocks alerted me to the presence of a visitor. I glanced at the alarm clock next to my bedside table. 4 AM. I quickly checked my phone for any emergency calls and came up blank. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I meandered toward the living room, stumbling in the darkness. Opening the door, my mouth opened in shock. There was Bella, bundled up in a jacket and fuzzy boots, shivering from the cold, snowflakes dusting her dark locks. My face lit up with a smile as I ran out into the sub-zero snow storm in just my boxer shorts and undershirt. I scooped my girl off her feet and rushed inside, swinging her around, giggling like a high school girl who sees her crush. My heart took off, beating furiously as I held onto my lifeline as my world depended on her, because it did.

"I can't believe you're her Boo!" I whispered, hugging her tightly.

"What do you expect Boo? You called all upset. I had to come save you." She whispered back, mimicking our childhood nickname back to me. When we were little, we were literally attached at the hip, if she fell, I fell…which was often. Hence we were nicknamed Boo-Boo.

"Only you would fly thousands of hours in the middle of the night, just for me. Only you" I snorted, wiping my teary eyes. "I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to worry you. I just missed you, and I had a tough day at the hospital. I needed my favorite girl."

I took Bella in my arms, walking her into my bedroom and snuggled into the bed. Face to face, I held her as if my life depended on it and did not let go.

(End flashback)

Sitting alone on my couch, flipping through the beautiful scrapbook Bella had given me for my birthday, three short weeks ago, reminiscing, I came to a realization. I had sat around long enough. I had waited for opportunities to present themselves for 20 years. I had waited for the right moment my whole life, and maybe it wouldn't happen…unless I created it. I had enough…enough of my fears, self-doubt, and victimless unrequited love. If I wanted "the moment" I would have "the moment".

I called Rosalie and Alice, asking them to meet me at Tiffany's, the shrill squealing nearly caused me to lose my precious hearing after telling them my plan for Friday. I had never been surer of any decision in my life. All that was left was to find if Bella was as sure of me as I of her.

Friday came quickly. I grew more and more restless as the day wore on, the implication of my decision to possibly crush my entire being weighing heavily on my psyche. I had it all planned, After work, Bella would be lured to my parent's house and into the back yard, where millions of twinkle lights and tea candles would light up our old treehouse leading her to me.

As the day went on and on…and on, I began to think about how Bella had left me at the party. The more I thought, the more anxious I grew. So much so, I found myself driving toward the coffeehouse Bella and Alice co-owned. I paced in front of the building for what seemed like hours, the rain saturating my clothes. Finally, I approached the door, tapping the glass doors softly…still internally waging a war against my pessimistic side, currently begging me to tuck my tail and run home. Before pessimism could win out, Bella looked up and walked to the door, hesitation marring her features. My heart sank and I took one lungful of air and rushed forward. I had to do this; there is no backing out now. I knew what I wanted; my only uncertainty was her reaction. My voice steady as I began, the beginning of the possible end.

"Why did you do it?" I ground out, clenching my teeth.

"I DON'T know Edward! If I could take it back I would! God, I never meant for things to get this way. I just needed you to know. It was killing me to sit and watch while other women had what I so desperately lived for! It was killing me to see you miserable. It kills me when you talk about the "special girl" you have been after for so long. It was killing me to see you pull away from me. I didn't know what to do! What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?" She cried, tears leaking from her eyes.

I was slightly startled by her admission, but powered on. "Why did you run? I have been waiting…so long!" I shouted "I have been waiting so long for something to happen between us. And it does, and you run! You started it and you left! You gave me this beautiful scrapbook of our lives and then I haven't heard from you for almost a month. What was I supposed to think…?" My chest constricted as I recalled the painful memory.

Tears were dripping down my cheeks as I continued "I have told you so many times, you were my special girl! It kills me when you talk about the "special man" you have been after for so long. It kills me to see other men have what I have been after for 20 years. I have loved you since our first play date when we were five. I loved you through our awkward teen years and your heartbreaks. I have loved you in spite of the wear and tear our relationship has caused on my heart. It killed me to be in Chicago for a year, only surviving because we flew to see each other on a weekly basis. And when you showed up two years ago, after a day in hell, in a blizzard…I knew you were the other half of my heart."

I stalked toward Bella, grabbing her tiny hands as I knelt to the ground. Sniffling I reached in my jacket pocket and pulled out the ominous light blue box, flipping it open. "Bella, when you stood up and toasted at my birthday party, you said a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. And where you find true friendship, you find true love. You are the one who knows the song to my heart, and has sung it back many times when I have forgotten the words. And in you I have found true friendship, in you I found true love. I love you with all I am and all I can be. Now that I have you, I will never let you go. Will you marry me?" I held my breath as my world rested on her reaction.

She collapsed to her knees threw her arms around me, and snuggled her face in the crook of my neck "Oh Boo, I'll love you forever and for always. Yes!"

I slightly turned my head, as happy tears replaced the tears representing pain. I grabbed her hand and slid the ring on her left third finger, where it would stay for all eternity. I brought her hand to my lips kissing the ring. I slowly leaned forward, moving my shaking hands to cradle Bella's delicate face as I tilted my head, softly brushing my lips to hers, the world disappearing around us. Just Me and Bella, the way it was meant to be.

**Now, what I really want to know….who's POV did you prefer?**


End file.
